iāve held onto the idea that things need to be hard to be worthwhile.
you should put in effort to make things happen, yes. but if you feel youāre hitting a wall every time you try something and you keep on going against it, perhaps thatās not for you and thereās nothing wrong with that. sometimes long-held ideas are just that, ālong-heldā because thereās an expiration date to them and there comes a time to let them go.
a lot of times growing up iāve heard people express their pity for someone elseās life being hard followed by admiration for enduring such hardships. and while, yes, it is admirable to go through dark periods of life and come out renewed and reborn out of them, i also believe hearing these parallels has made me internalize that things need to be hard for them to be worthwhile.
iāve internalized that rewards in life are exclusively tied to going through difficult situations. and to be honest this has made me observe how iāve tended to choose difficulty over easier, fun, and more relaxed options just because i think hardships are held at a greater value.
the idea that things need to be hard for them to be worthwhile has kept me tied to goals and expectations that iāve realized i do not necessarily align with just for the sake of proving that i can achieve them.
the idea that things need to be hard for them to be worthwhile has also kept me unconsciously looking for ways to put my body under stress just because it feels familiar.
and last but not least, the idea that things need to be hard for them to be worthwhile has kept me holding onto an illusion of control in hopes and expectations of a specific rather than just letting things be (even better than what i expected).
easiness in our lives should be valued and rewarded the same as difficulty and hardships. i think natural flows should be more appreciated as theyāre pointing to enjoyment. and on that note, i think enjoyment should be something also held close to a metric of success rather than only how difficult the road is ā or how the pain is the only thing that makes the glory of the road worthwhile.
of course, thereās the fact that without ebbs, we wouldnāt appreciate the flows however i think thereās a great difference between experiencing an ebb you choose to go through and constantly choosing to go through profound falls just because you think you should be experiencing them for the sake of the value they might hold. tying ourselves to how hard our lives are is not an identity, is a call for help. you deserve ease too.