It was Saturday. 3 a.m. in the morning. After a party.
And I had decided to call it a night. I came back to my place, turned on YouTube, and bawled my eyes out to my favorite tunes of the moment. It was not a cry filled with sadness but a cry filled with joy and gratitude — the joy of being alive in a time and place in which one can easily press play to a song and disconnect from the outside only to connect with the beautiful yet, often, unexplored inside. The playlist started with the song “Sunny” by Bobby Hebb.
To be specific, this is the exact version I replayed over and over. Look at his smile! Ugh. Wins me over.
In Madrid, we’re getting to experience the most beautiful days of the year — according to moi. Daylight fills the majority of hours of the day and we get to experience the light of day for longer than what I’ve ever been used to in Panamá. It’s magic every time the clock hits 8:30 and there’s still a lovely glimpse of light waiting for me. The days are truly “Sunny.” This song doesn’t have to do anything with the weather but it uses the analogy of sunlight to explain the lovely feeling of l’amour. And I couldn’t agree more with the song.
Lines, such as the following, give me life:
Sunny, thank you for the truth you’ve helped me see. You smiled at me and really eased the pain. My sunny one shines so sincere.
These lines flower my thoughts on a daily basis. They’re such a sweet way of expressing the most incredible and powerful force of all — love. By now, if you’ve read a bit of what I’ve shared through this channel you’ll for sure know I’m a hopeless romantic. Ironically, I’m a hopeless romantic that is recovering, as well, of keeping those feelings safe and stored deep inside.
Thus, music has become an avenue for pouring them out.
The sun will never ask to shine, it just will.
Feelings should not be kept locked inside, they’re allowed to pour and rain in our lives.
And, love will never ask for something to change, it just accepts.
What a joy it is when one takes the decision to appreciate things for what they are as opposed to wanting to change them. What a blessing it is to get to appreciate and reflect on these thoughts and emotions all because of a simple song.
I’m not particularly good at feeling my feelings. I, however, excel at intellectualizing them. This has been my subject of work over the last couple of months with my therapist — getting into the body, into the feelings, and out of my head.
I love sharing music because it feels like sharing a part or bit of myself and who I am — it just so happens that a person other than myself managed to put together their emotions and consequently gently caress mine in the process. Be it at the dance floor enjoying life through movement or at the shower enjoying feelings through singing. Music is the universal language and ultimate emotional connector.
I’ve always flirted with the idea of creatively sharing parts of myself. To me, it is a fun way of communicating differently than what the common small talk or conversation with others can bring out. As a person who sometimes doesn’t have the guts, the words, or the eloquent train of thought to express exactly what I mean at the moment I’m feeling it, it feels like sharing music is an amazing avenue to play and tease with the excitement of expression.
It’s funny because I used to think twice before sharing a song on my story or recommending a song to someone.
I also know I used to overthink it because, to me, it equals vulnerability. It is vulnerable to share something that allows me to deeply feel so much joy, grief, nostalgia, gratefulness, excitement, love, heartbreak, you name it. I’ve never been the best at being warm at first but I’m continuously breaking down my walls and allowing myself to show that side little by little each day. Music has been the perfect starting point and companion.
I love the feeling that happens when you get to connect with others because they connect in similar ways, interests, or feelings to what you connect. The same goes with art, a way of seeing life, philosophy or I guess even sports (although I’m not the one to talk about that topic. lol)
This month I’ve felt more connected than ever to music. I’ve flirted with more genres than I’ve done so before. I’ve gotten the privilege of waking up each day to my favorite songs. And especially, this month without a doubt, thanks to one of my favorite bars I’ve allowed myself to lose myself to dancing, an exquisite amount of times, and what a joy it is to be alive in a bar zapateando to your own rhythm with people who are there to feel and do the same. (Shoutout to @wonderstudiomadrid my favorite place in all of Madrid. Do yourself the favor of going whenever you get to set foot in this astounding city.)
In the same way, I’ve found that frequenting places where people are in that same frequency is one of the most healing ways of being present — although sometimes the des-inhibitors that one intakes in those places help as well.
No need for rationalization when the feeling is felt. Not every thought you have calls for you to be attached to it. Not every worry you have should have a room in your mind. Release through movement, release through singing, release through feeling.
A playlist of feelings — and ideas as well — has been roaming through my mind and as of this moment, this is the music that has accompanied those thoughts as well.
My intention in sharing this with you is to take you through what goes through my feelings when listening to these songs, or any song as a matter of fact — because music brings out a joy in us, humans, that even my most rational brain can’t even begin or fathom to explain. And I think that’s the biggest lesson that music has to teach us — through feeling a lot can be transformed, a lot can feel lighter, and a lot can be released and surrendered.
So, to close off Musical March here is my playlist of feelings for the month. Enjoy.
Share your playlist of ideas, or feelings with others. Even with no response back, the feeling of sharing reaches far better distances and much more freedom than the sole thought of keeping your thoughts, love, or ideas to yourself. Apply this to sharing a playlist, or sharing everything you are.
This is an invitation for you to do yours as well — practice feeling, practice expressing, practice sharing, and practice enjoying. At the end of the day, these things bring the light and we’re all so very much made of it.
Happy Friday! & thank you for being here 🫀
Améeee🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼❤️❤️
Que bella playlist! Amé 🫀✨